英語文章のメモ

1
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,440
Can I help you?

2
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,440
I would like to purchase
one of your material objects.

3
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,920
-Books.
-Books.

4
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,560
Let us discuss my purchase
in a private place,

5
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,840
because I am buying, uh...

6
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,760
Pornography?

7
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,720
Pornography.

8
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,120
Gabriel, come into
my back room.

9
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,800
We humans are extremely
easily embarrassed.

10
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,200
We must buy our pornography
secretively.

11
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,560
Human beings are so simple...

12
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,280
and so easily fooled.

13
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,560
Yes.

14
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,560
Ahem, good job.
You-- You fooled them all.

15
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,560
You remember Sandalphon?

16
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,400
Uh... Sodom and Gomorrah.

17
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:28,760
You were doing
a lot of smiting

18
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,040
and turning people
into salt.

19
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,240
Hard to forget.

20
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,560
Something smells...evil.

21
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,040
Oh, that'll be
the Jeffrey Archer books,
I'm afraid.

22
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,440
Well, we just wanted
to stop by

23
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,120
and check on the status
of the Antichrist.

24
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,600
Why? What's wrong?

25
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,000
I-- I mean, if there is
something wrong,

26
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,840
I could put
my people onto it.

27
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,840
Nothing's wrong.
Everything's going perfectly.

28
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,120
There's a lot happening.
All good.

29
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,320
All good?

30
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,600
Well, all going according
to the Divine Plan.

31
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,600
The Hell Hound
has been set loose,

32
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,920
and now the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse
are being summoned.

33
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,640
Death, Pollution,
Famine, War.

34
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:10,880
Right.

35
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,040
Who exactly summons them?

36
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:14,440
Not my department.

37
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,240
I believe we outsource
that sort of thing.

38
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,080
About time,
that's what I say.

39
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,560
You can't have a war
without War.

40
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,880
Sandalphon,
that is very good.

41
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,960
You can't have a war
without War.

42
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,960
I might use that. Huh?

43
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,160
Anyway...

44
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,400
no problems?
How was the Hell Hound?

45
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,520
I-- I didn't
stick around to see.

46
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,960
Thank you
for my pornography!

47
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,360
Excellent job.

48
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,600
"You can't have a war
without War."

49
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,000
Clever.

50
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,320
Welcome back.
Now, the government's
foreign affairs spokesman

51
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,640
will be here to comment
on the recent increase

52
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,360
in international tensions.

53
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,800
But first, do you know
what's in your fridge?

54
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,400
Morning, Crowley.

55
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,160
Just checking in.

56
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,560
Nice chair.

57
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:16,760
Hey, guys.

58
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,520
It's about
the Antichrist.

59
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,120
Yeah. Great kid.
Takes after his dad.

60
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,080
Our operatives
in the State Department

61
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,520
have arranged
for the child's family

62
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,320
to be flown
to the Middle East.

63
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,760
There, he and the Hell Hound

64
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,680
will be taken
to the Valley of Megiddo.

65
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,880
The Four Horsemen
will begin their final ride.

66
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,200
-Yay.
-Armageddon will begin.

67
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,240
The final combat.

68
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,360
It's what we've been working
towards since we rebelled.

69
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,360
We are the fallen.

70
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,000
Never forget that.

71
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,560
Well, it's not the sort
of thing you forget.

72
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,600
I don't
trust you, Crowley.

73
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,600
Everything's going just fine.

74
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,880
I didn't mean to fall.

75
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,280
I just hung around
the wrong people.

76
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,320
Somebody has to summon

77
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,880
the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse.

78
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,520
But they outsource
that sort of thing these days.

79
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,960
Meet the Summoner.

80
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,480
He has four items
to deliver in his van.

81
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,320
He works for
the International
Express Company.

82
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,400
And he's about to make
his first delivery
in a former war zone.

83
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:24,640
Sometimes, despite everything,
peace breaks out.

84
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,760
People get tired of fighting,
and pain, and death,

85
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,000
and are willing to start
all over again.

86
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,800
Excuse me,
who are you?

87
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,040
Carmine Zingiber.
National World Weekly.

88
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,120
War correspondent.

89
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,040
Well, this is good,
my friend.

90
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,200
It is good that a member
of the world press is here

91
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,120
to see us sign
the peace accord.

92
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,800
Right, well, if you'd like to
sign this first, Your Highness,

93
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,600
and then the Prime Minister,
then the Supreme Leader,

94
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,360
then we'll get a photograph
of all three of you together.

95
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,360
Wait. He signs first?

96
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,120
It is just a formality
who signs first.

97
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,240
A formality? You make me
a laughingstock in my country,

98
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,120
and you call that a formality?

99
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,000
Somebody has to sign
the peace agreement first.

100
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,240
They do, and it's me.

101
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,360
Oh, don't mind me,
ladies and gents.

102
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,520
Oh, what a day, eh?

103
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,000
Nearly didn't find the place.

104
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,760
Someone doesn't believe
in signposts, eh?

105
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,080
Package for you, miss.

106
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,880
You, uh...
you have to sign for it.

107
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,360
Well, it's a lovely place
you got here.

108
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,520
Yeah, I always wanted
to come here on my holidays.

109
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,280
-Finally.
-Put it down.

110
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,440
Oh, you sweet thing.

111
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,280
That's not gonna happen,
is it?

112
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,720
Sorry, folks.

113
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,280
I'd love to stay and get
to know you all better...

114
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,280
but duty calls.

115
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,400
She's the first of four.

116
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,400
And you can't have a war
without her.

117
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,760
She's been killing time
for so long now.

118
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,680
Time, and sometimes people.

119
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:33,360
And now, 60 centuries
of waiting are about to end.

120
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,600
This is also
the story of a witch,

121
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,680
a Witchfinder,
and a book.

122
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,880
And that story starts
about 360 years ago,

123
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,680
with the last witch burning
in England.

124
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,000
Witchfinder Major
Pulsifer, all is prepared.

125
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,320
Where is the hag?

126
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,040
In her cottage.
She suspects nothing.

127
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,880
I thought you'd tested her
with a pin.

128
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,880
We did. Regulation-issue
Witchfinder's pin.

129
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,760
-Pricked her all over.
-And what was the result?

130
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,440
She said it cured
her arthritis.

131
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:31,560
Hmm.

132
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,520
Of what else
is she accused?

133
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,480
Predicting the future,
mostly.

134
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:36,920
She told Mistress Bulcock

135
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,240
that Adultery
would be coming to town.

136
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,600
Such nonsense.

137
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,960
That's you, isn't it?

138
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,840
It's not me.

139
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,880
My given name,
Witchfinder Private Maggs,

140
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,880
is Thou Shalt Not
Commit Adultery.

141
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,440
But you can call me
"Witchfinder Major Pulsifer".

142
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,720
So they don't call you
"Adultery Pulsifer"?

143
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,760
They do not.

144
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,760
Good milkman...

145
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,280
bring no more milk,

146
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,640
not this day or ever,

147
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,520
for today I am to die
in flames.

148
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,640
Yours, Agnes Nutter.

149
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,960
P.S. My best wishes
to your wife.

150
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,200
Witch! Witch!

151
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,600
They're late.

152
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,520
She runs, I have heard tell,

153
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,480
with no one
pursuing her.

154
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,760
Aye. She says
running each morning

155
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,320
in an unladylike manner
around the village

156
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,880
doth improve her health.

157
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,520
Monstrous.

158
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,520
Perhaps invisible demons
pursue the witch as she runs.

159
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,000
No, she says
it's good for you.

160
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,040
She said we should get
more fibre in our diet.

161
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:51,400
I told her, I said, it's hard
enough picking out the gravel.

162
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,960
Aye, she is obviously mad.

163
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,160
But how can we be certain
she is a witch?

164
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,840
She cured me
of the howling pox.

165
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,760
And cured my son
of the bloody flux.

166
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,520
Obviously, a witch.

167
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,360
Witch.

168
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,600
Witch.

169
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,480
Witch.

170
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,160
Witch.

171
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:17,960
Adultery Pulsifer...

172
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,160
good people,

173
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,880
thou art tardy.

174
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,080
I should have been aflame
10 minutes since.

175
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,360
Right.

176
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,200
Mistress Nutter?

177
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,720
- Hey!
- Hey!

178
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,080
Oi!

179
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,640
This is most irregular,
Mistress Nutter.

180
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,920
Gather thee right close,
good people.

181
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,240
Come close until the fire
near scorch ye,

182
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,520
for I charge ye
that all must see

183
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,520
how the last true witch
in England dies.

184
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,760
And let my death
be a message to the world.

185
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,520
Come.

186
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,280
Come. Gather thee close, I say.

187
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,200
And mark well the fate
of those who meddle

188
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,640
with such as they
do not understand.

189
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,840
Oh, bugger.

190
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,960
Among the folk
from the next village,

191
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,120
there was much
subsequent debate

192
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:56,200
as to whether this disaster had
been sent by God or by Satan.

193
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,200
However, a note found
in Agnes' cottage

194
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,600
suggested that any divine
or devilish intervention

195
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,400
had been materially
helped by Agnes' petticoats,

196
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,640
in which she had concealed
50 pounds of gunpowder

197
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,520
and 30 pounds
of roofing nails.

198
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,000
Oh, bugger.

199
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,760
Agnes also left behind
a box and a book.

200
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,160
They were to be given to her
daughter and her son-in-law,

201
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,160
John and Virtue Device.

202
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,000
"Dear Mistress Nutter,

203
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,560
we take great pleasure
in enclosing

204
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,720
your author's copy
of your book.

205
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,680
We trust it will sell
in huge numbers,

206
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,720
yea, and be reprinted even
unto a second printing.

207
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,320
Yours, Bilton and Scaggs,
publishers."

208
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,040
The Nice and Accurate
Prophecies of Agnes Nutter.

209
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:47,440
"Reminiscent of Nostradamus
at his best."

210
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,040
Ursula Shipton.

211
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,520
What does this mean, John?

212
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,240
It means, Virtue,
that even though Agnes is dead,

213
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,120
we must study her book.

214
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,960
For your mother
knew the future.

215
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,600
"Prophecy 2,214.

216
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,560
In December 1980,

217
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,800
an Apple will arise
no man can eat.

218
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,680
Invest thy money
in Master Jobbes's machine,

219
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,280
and good fortune
will tend thy days."

220
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,560
Oh, I mean,
this is balderdash.

221
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,800
The book
Agnes left behind her

222
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,000
was the sole prophetic work
in all of human history

223
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,880
to consist entirely of
completely correct predictions

224
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,720
concerning the following
350-odd years.

225
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,440
Being a precise
and accurate description

226
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,480
of the events that would
culminate in Armageddon.

227
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,680
It was on the money
in every single detail.

228
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,240
On the night the Antichrist was
born, in a house in Malibu,

229
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,880
Agnes Nutter's
great-great-great-great-great
granddaughter

230
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,160
was drawing
on the title page.

231
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:08,120
And, metaphorically, the book
had just begun to tick.

232
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,000
Okay, Anathema.
Prophecy 2,214.

233
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,680
"In December 1980,

234
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,920
an Apple will arise
that no man can eat."

235
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,520
That one's stupid, Mom.
It doesn't mean anything.

236
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:29,120
My mom bought 5,000 shares
in Apple in 1980.

237
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,640
That's worth
$40 million today.

238
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:36,680
Okay, 2,213.

239
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:40,600
"Four shall ride, and three
shall ride the sky as two,

240
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,880
and one shall ride in flames,

241
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,480
and there shall be
no stopping them.

242
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:50,040
Not fish, nor rain,
neither devil or angel.

243
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,840
And ye shall be there also,
Anathema."

244
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,560
You see?

245
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,160
She's got special plans for you,
mi amor.

246
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,120
Agnes gave us
the easy job.

247
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,440
We just had to make sure
everything was good
for the family.

248
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,000
You're the one that's going
to have to save the world.

249
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,680
Meanwhile,
in Dorking, Surrey,

250
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,560
Thou Shalt Not
Commit Adultery Pulsifer's

251
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,800
great-great-great-great-great
grandson

252
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,920
should have been in bed
hours ago.

253
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,440
Newton?

254
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,360
It's after your bedtime,
dear.

255
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,800
Just a few more minutes, Mum.

256
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,440
I'm putting the old computer
back together.

257
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,160
You young scientists
and your experiments.

258
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,000
It's not really
an experiment, Mum.

259
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,520
I just changed the plug.

260
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,160
It'll work now.

261
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,320
I do hope the man from
the electric isn't going
to be upset again.

262
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,040
-It's not fair.
-Oh, don't worry, love.

263
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,040
It's not as if
it's the end of the world.

264
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,160
I just wanted to say, well,
good luck on the new job.

265
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,120
I hope it works out
this time.

266
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,920
-I'm sure it'll be fine, Mum.
-You've just been unlucky.

267
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,120
I made you sandwiches.

268
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,240
And you are?

269
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,760
Newton Pulsifer.
Wages clerk.

270
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,000
I'm new.

271
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,800
Excuse me,
I was just wondering,

272
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,960
is there a way that I could
do this without putting it
in the computer?

273
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,440
Is there a way of accessing
the wages database...

274
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,040
without using a computer?

275
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,560
Or maybe someone could
print it out for me,

276
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,040
and then I could do
the sums on paper.

277
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,880
Okay, who's excited
by the training initiative?

278
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,600
Let's see some hands.
Yeah?

279
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,160
Just so that you know, Norman,

280
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,040
I've registered
a complaint with HR

281
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,720
about this whole training
initiative nonsense.

282
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,080
It's a team-building exercise,
Janice.

283
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,880
And, um, just so as you know,

284
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,760
there's no "I" in "team", yeah?

285
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,560
But there's two "I's"
in "building", Nigel.

286
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,000
And an "I" in "exercise".

287
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,600
Yeah. Alright.

288
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,480
So, can I have everybody's
attention, please?

289
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,800
Sorry, I've just got to hit
return and I'll be with you.

290
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,080
- Oh!
- Uh-oh.

291
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,040
Sorry, just not very good
with computers.

292
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,560
Need a hand, Dick?

293
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,640
My name's not actually Dick.
It's the car's name.

294
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,640
You can ask me why,
if you like.

295
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,880
Hello.

296
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,480
"Athaneema Device"?

297
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,200
Anathema Device.
It's an old family name.

298
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,560
Purpose of your visit
to the United Kingdom?

299
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,320
Well, I'm commanded by
an ancient family prophecy.

300
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,160
I'm going to use all the wisdom
and witchcraft at my disposal

301
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,000
to hunt down
the heart of darkness,

302
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,560
and then do all that I can
to destroy it

303
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,320
before it brings about
the end of the world.

304
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,680
I'm sorry?

305
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,160
Vacation.

306
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,320
Hello, Mum.

307
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,240
The new job?

308
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,440
Yeah, it's going really well.

309
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,440
They're great.

310
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,080
- They love me.
- -Walk past them with your noses in the air.

311
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,560
Bye, Mum.

312
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,080
There's only one thing
we have to fear, you sissies,

313
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:21,080
and it's not global warming,
and it's not nuclear Armageddon.

314
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,240
Can anyone here
tell me what it is?

315
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,880
Ha! You don't answer.

316
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,080
You don't answer,
because you know it's true.

317
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,040
They are hidden
in our midst.

318
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,680
I'm the thin red line that
stands between humanity
and the darkness.

319
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,320
-Yea, I'm talking about--
-Witches?

320
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,320
Aye, witches.

321
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,080
They lurk behind a facade
of righteousness.

322
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,320
And there's naebody
can stop them...

323
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,040
but me.

324
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,440
In the old days,
Witchfinders were respected.

325
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,320
Matthew Hopkins,
Witchfinder General...

326
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,080
...he used to charge each town
and village ninepence

327
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,080
for every witch he found.

328
00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,800
And they paid.

329
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,880
Are you, um,
Witchfinder General?

330
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,480
Oh, I am not.

331
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,920
There is no longer
a Witchfinder General.

332
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,960
Nor is there
a Witchfinder Colonel,

333
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,560
a Witchfinder Major,
not even a Witchfinder Captain.

334
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,320
There is, however,
a Witchfinder Sergeant.

335
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,920
And you're looking at him.

336
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,800
Well, pleased to meet you,
Mr Shadwell.

337
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,320
Um, cup of tea.
Nine sugars.

338
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,520
And a packet of cheese
and onion crisps.

339
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,920
Coming right up.

340
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,760
Get your wallet out,
laddie.

341
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,160
You never
want to appear tight-fisted

342
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,560
on first acquaintance.

343
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,320
- Thank you.
- And it's not "Mr Shadwell".

344
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,720
It's "Sergeant".
Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell.

345
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,680
What's your name, lad?

346
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,800
Newton.
Newton Pulsifer.

347
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,080
Pulsifer?

348
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,720
That's a familiar name,
now you mention it.

349
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,800
You have your own teeth?

350
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,480
Yes.

351
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,280
-How many nipples
have you got?
-What?

352
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,040
Nipples, laddie. How many?

353
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,920
Um, just the usual two.

354
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,520
Okay...

355
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,320
Be here at 11:00 tomorrow.

356
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,760
Bring scissors.

357
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,160
Just put it there.
Thanks so much.

358
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,640
What a gorgeous village, huh?

359
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:47,880
Thank you.

360
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,720
Hmm...

361
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,560
Right.

362
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,520
To work.

363
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,800
Easy job.

364
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,160
Deliver the Antichrist.
Keep an eye on him.

365
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,320
Nice, straightforward job, eh?

366
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,800
Not the kind of thing any demon
is going to screw up, right?

367
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:32,480
The only things in
the flat Crowley devotes
any personal attention to

368
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,320
are the houseplants.

369
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,560
He had heard about talking
to plants in the early '70s,

370
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,240
and thought it
an excellent idea.

371
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,920
Although "talking"
is perhaps the wrong word
for what Crowley does.

372
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,240
Is that a spot?

373
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,960
Is it?

374
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,840
Right, you know what I've told
you all about leaf spots.

375
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,880
I will not
stand for them!

376
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,080
You know what you've done.

377
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,040
You've disappointed me.

378
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,160
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

379
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,120
Everyone!

380
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,120
Say goodbye
to your friend.

381
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,800
He just couldn't cut it.

382
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:26,520
Now, this is going
to hurt you so much more
than it will hurt me.

383
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,800
And you guys,
grow better!

384
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,080
What he does
is put the fear
of God into them.

385
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,680
More precisely,
the fear of Crowley.

386
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,440
The plants are the most
luxurious,

387
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,200
verdant and beautiful
in London.

388
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,760
Also, the most terrified.

389
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,320
The Nice and Accurate
Prophecies of Agnes Nutter?

390
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,240
I'm so sorry,
I can't help you.

391
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,960
Well, of course
I know who she was.

392
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,160
Born 1600, exploded 1656.

393
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,160
But there are no copies
of her book available.

394
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,400
No, I can't name my price.
I don't have it.

395
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,160
Nobody has--

396
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,080
Well, there really is no need
for that kind of language.

397
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,240
Um, hello.

398
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,000
I'm here about the advert
in the paper.

399
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,320
Well, Madame Tracy
draws aside the veil

400
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,600
every afternoon
except Thursdays.

401
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,160
I think there must
be another advert.

402
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,680
Oh, right.

403
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,560
Come in, dear. You're lucky.

404
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,000
One of my regulars
had to cancel.

405
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,720
Now, I don't do anything kinky
except by prior arrangement.

406
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:16,040
And my knees
aren't what they were.

407
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:19,040
Also, if it's strict discipline
you'll be wanting,

408
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,480
you'd better tell me now because
it can take me half an hour

409
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,040
to squeeze
into the leather pinny.

410
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,880
I'm sorry?

411
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,400
Are you not here for intimate
personal relaxation

412
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,320
and stress relief
for the discerning gentleman?

413
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,000
No.

414
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,000
I'm here to join
the Witchfinder Army.

415
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:39,600
Oh!

416
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,240
Mr Shadwell said
he was expecting a visitor.

417
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,200
It's just been him
for so long.

418
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,760
Aye.

419
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,200
It's your new recruit,
Mr Shadwell, look.

420
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,200
Away with you, harlot.

421
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,800
Scarlet woman.
Jezebel.

422
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,760
Oh, Mr Shadwell.

423
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,080
I'll bring you both tea.

424
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,560
Milk and sugar, dear?

425
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,640
He's in the army now, Jezebel.

426
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,680
He'll make his own tea.

427
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,840
Welcome to the Witchfinder Army,
new recruit.

428
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,280
You are, as of now,
Witchfinder Private Pulsifer.

429
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,160
We used to be powerful.

430
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,520
We used to be
important.

431
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,960
-Oh.
-Condensed milk, lad.

432
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,600
-And I take--
-Nine sugars.

433
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,480
Exactly.

434
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,560
We were the line of fire

435
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,000
between the darkness
and the poor unsuspecting folk

436
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,520
who don't believe
in witches.

437
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,560
-Hmm!
-But, Sergeant Shadwell,

438
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,040
don't the churches
do that these days?

439
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,800
Nay, laddie.

440
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,720
Against the darkness?

441
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,280
It's a war.

442
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,240
And you know
what our first weapon is?

443
00:25:55,960 --> 00:26:00,680
Oh! The Thundergun of
Witchfinder Colonel "Get 'em
before they get you" Dalrymple?

444
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,000
Nay, laddie.

445
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,320
That'll never
be used again.

446
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,200
Not in this degenerate age.

447
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,960
Very good.

448
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,680
And you know
what we do with them?

449
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,160
No, lad.

450
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,920
We read.

451
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,640
And we cut.

452
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,640
Hey, this is Anthony Crowley.

453
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,600
You know what to do.
Do it with style.

454
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,720
No leads yet my end.

455
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,520
Anything at your end?

456
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,040
Listen, I have sort
of an idea.

457
00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,040
What?

458
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,080
Ah, hello. When you did
the baby swap 11 years ago,

459
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,880
could something
have gone wrong?

460
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,200
What?

461
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,600
-You've lost the boy.
-"We've" lost him.

462
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,520
A child has been lost.

463
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,600
-But you still know his age--
-"We" know.

464
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,320
His birthday. He's 11.

465
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,160
-You make it sound easy.
-Well, it can't be that hard.

466
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,200
I just hope nothing's
happened to him.

467
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,680
Happened?
Nothing's happened to him.

468
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,240
He happens to everything.

469
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,320
So, we only have to find
his birth records.

470
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,160
Go through
the hospital files.

471
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,960
-And then what?
-And then we find the child.

472
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,880
And then what?

473
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,520
Watch out for that pedestrian.

474
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,880
She's on the street.
She knows the risk she's taking.

475
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,160
Just watch the--
Watch the road.

476
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,920
Wh-Where is this hospital,
anyway?

477
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,240
A village near Oxford,
Tadfield.

478
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,960
Crowley, you can't do 90 miles
per hour in Central London.

479
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,120
-Why not?
-You'll get us killed.

480
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,080
Well, inconveniently
discorporated.

481
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:46,240
Music. Why don't I put on
a little... music?

482
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:48,920
What's a Velvet Underground?

483
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,400
You wouldn't like it.

484
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,400
Oh. Bebop.

485
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,360
Yah!

486
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,320
I still can't believe
your dad let you keep him, Adam.

487
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,320
Actually, when I found a cat

488
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,600
we had to put up a notice
saying we found a lost cat,

489
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,480
and then we had
to give her back.

490
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,040
It's my birthday.
And he wasn't wearing a collar.

491
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,080
And we asked, and nobody's
reported a missing dog.

492
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,360
Our dog doesn't like me.
It pretends I'm not there.

493
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:22,040
Did you know that my cousin
Charlotte says that in America,

494
00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:26,640
they have shops that sell 39
different flavours of ice cream.

495
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,800
Wensleydale's
first name is Jeremy,

496
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,920
but nobody's ever used it,

497
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,440
not even his parents,
who call him "Youngster".

498
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,280
All that stands between
Wensleydale

499
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,440
and chartered accountancy
is time.

500
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,880
There aren't 39 different
flavours of ice cream.