I AM MOVING TO CANADA!

Hello, beautiful people!!

I have been talking about how bad my relationship with my family is.

And again, my father mentioned THE past today, which I really hate to hear.

His every single remark makes me crazy... and it makes me cry how immature he is.

Sorry, I do not mean to insult my father, but he never gets how I feel.

I am writing this in English because my familiy member may see my articles.

Actually, I have been feeling that my father tends to do moral harassment. I remember that my sister told me a very long time ago in fact.

And, I think my mother was also doing the same kind.

I googled about what moral harassment means and what kind of people fits the features.

My father definitely fits the features and my mother also does slightly.

Having toxic parents and raised by them, the rate in which I become one of them(toxic people) is very high according to some research.

As a matter of fact, I cannot deny I was harassing people without noticing it.

Now I've realized I was raised by toxic parents and I do not want to be one of them.

During quarantine, I've got so much time to be with my father.

It was an ironic result that to be with him makes me vulnerable and it drives me crazy.

I desperately want to leave this house and live just by myself......

Sorry but this is how I feel now.

I have never told I was loved, and even never gives me a hug...... I think it is just because he is Japanese though.

But instead, I have been told very bad and sad stuff like I still clearly remember when I was told I should die when I was 8 years old.

I was 8!! Can you imagine what kind of father tells children like that?

I just being annoying and tired of my summer vacation assignment. I remember I said I did not want to do them.

Then he said that.

"Then die. There are so many snacks and candies in the heaven. You can do whatever you want."

I was shocked. Of course, I cried.

The time I noticed how unfavourable my parents are is very later in my life, but there is no need to be ashamed of.

Because usually, people do not realize how it looks like until they see it from the outside.

I might I am harassing people too like they do without noticing it.

Once I know I highly become toxic people, I force me to look back on what I was doing and rethink before I act every single moment.

Yes, I really should not have children in the future, because I might hurt them too...

But it is ok because I do not like kids haha (Is this because how I raised???lol)

Actually, I should thank my family members.

I can leave Japan with no regrets, hesitation and sadness of being apart from them.

Bless your heart, thank you for reading.